We all might walk the same road but its a different path we all seek....

I hope everyone had a beautiful Mother's day weekend, I know I did. We went for a wonderful walk along the wooded coastal shores of New Hampshire. I love walking in the woods, I find such a peace there and it seems that the magic of the trees and their majesty call to my heart and soul. Yesterday as we walked the wooded path coming to forks in the road and following some that looped us around sometimes back to the same spot others in a new direction, I thought of how similar to life today's walk was. These were no ordinary paths, these once were the paths of soldiers and guards that once watched over theses shores for enemies or maybe even approaching storms. Now grass and graffiti replace the once I am sure maintained land. What stories those trees could tell if we only knew how to listen. In life I have tried to follow many paths, some that have been laid before me. Filled with stories of adventures and woes. I have also made my own paths alone and in fear of the unknown. Along the way others and myself leaving bread crumbs for those that wish to follow. Those that seek a new path or one of their ancestors. Yet yesterday I realized that no matter how many people walked these paths now or in the past each one had its own individual experience and reason they made the choices they did. No two paths are ever the same even if the paths are made of the very same stones. That after me and before me these paths would be walked and no two experiences would be the same but yet we all at least yesterday were seeking the same thing, family, nature, woods, ocean, and maybe even a bit of peace. It made me think of a saying by the Zen poet Matsuo Basho "Seek not to follow in the footsteps of the elders, rather seek what they sought" That it is not someone else path we should be seeking but to create our own. That the qualities and virtues they stood for can not be attained by merely following someone else path they have laid before us but in discovering those things in our self by seeking our own answers, making our own choices and following our own path. That even though the landscape might be the same we must see it with new eyes, our eyes. That way we can never be disappointed that we didn't experience what another did on that path. You see that was their path and you must walk yours. Like us yesterday, some on the path came across snakes and bees that scared them, others rushed by missing the turtle hiding in the brush and other found it hot at times, me I found beauty in the trees and the rocks on the path called out to me but most of all I was grateful to see once again there is more to life when I use my new eyes to see....  

What a little Mat time and Tempeh can do......

  As most of you know my journey through life is often met with health challenges and side track journeys through the mud of my life. Moving ahead but at a slow and often dredging pace. Like the Lotus flower I keep rising towards the sun and some sense of moving out of the muck and into happiness and balance. If you have followed my Blog or my Facebook page you know I have had many starts and stops along this path. Each one getting me closer to the light but always seemly out of reach. 

  Until my recent visit to the hospital I must admit my intentions were always good and pure but I seemed to slip easily back into old patterns allowing people , places and things to distract me from what I set out to do. I am coming to realize that I had not surrendered. That might sound a bit strange coming from me, even I feel a bit strange saying it. I have surrendered to a lot of things in my life but yet it was more in a New Age kind of way. Let me try to explain. Growing up Christian surrender meant admitting you were a sinner and facing the fact that you would always fall short of God's grace, which confused me. That to me meant no matter what I did I would always displease God and not be good enough even though I was told I was his child.  New Age philosophy taught me that to surrender meant to not hold attachments to things, people, emotion, ect. So here I had been raised to think what ever I did would not please God and it was obvious that humans felt the same way because they were always judging each others worthiness and it made it harder when I stepped into the New Age culture because they were always trying to remove themselves from their reality and emotions. I must admit at time both theories and lifestyles had their challenges. My reality is I am sure I am recovering from both even now.  That leads me to my new look at surrender. 

  I am faced with the deeper questions of what makes me unworthy by just being born? because I was a mistake in Gods eyes? Because Eve sinned in some Garden years ago? I thought God was about Forgiveness not condemnation. Why must I become so detached from my feelings and my world around me that I have to escape into fantasy worlds that have no more proof of existence then God itself does. Weather that includes my own mind or mans technology? Why must I to find happiness deny my own existence and be a shamed to find my worthiness in things outside or inside myself. The truth for me is I do not. I do not have to find my worthiness in myself or others including the God of my own understanding. I just am. Strangely enough those were the words of Christ. "I am that I am" . When  Moses asked for his name he said those very words. Christ had surrendered to who he was, accepted his path as a man and as God. Both the creator and the creation. His splendor in knowing this gave rise to not needing a name to define him or even a title. You see the word Christ means "the anointed one" some called him the messiah which means "liberator of a group of people". You see those titles were given to him by his culture the same as once the word 'Mahatma" meaning "great soul" was given to Gandhi. Both were living men who came with a beautiful  message of oneness and peace and were crucified or assassinated by the very people they were trying to set free. Free from mental, emotional and even physical bondage. As the human mind tried to wrap its mind around it we created more separation and judgment instead of awaking to their message of surrender to self.  Not of denial or shame but of endless potential and inner expansion. 

  All this time I had been unknowingly fighting my own birth right to just be me. How ever that is expressed without fear of judgment and finding my worthiness not by my accomplishment or lack of them but in my potential to be all of me in honor of me, God's creation. What does this have to do with surrender you might ask. Well each day when I lay out that yoga mat, weather it be for 5 minutes or 45 I surrender to I am only me and my poses will not be perfect today, my strength and endurance might not be there and that is ok. Because I am not looking for perfection, worthiness or acceptance I am just looking to be a better me. When I expand my mind and cooking skills by taking on a new form of food I am not looking to impress, to be part of some food movement or save the planet by refusing to eat something I am just listening to my body and soul and following its guidance. I am surrendering to the fact that I am me. With all my short comings and talents, all of my past and my undetermined future and that too is ok. You see my Mat has given me something that no Religious or New Age dogma or culture has given me. It has given me time with me to discover a deeper understanding of myself and the world around me but most of all it has given me a peace of knowing that perfection is not sought there, only devotion to self and God's creation by honoring the temple in which my spirit and the spirit of God dwells inside me. 

  It seems insightful that devoting time to my mat everyday and expanding my world by adding Tempeh this week would have such a big impact on a subject that I had been seeking answers to for over 17 years but it has. It was in the final surrender and the willingness to move from mine and others comfort zone that did it. I feel like a weight has been lifted for my soul. Who knew a Orange Glazed Tempeh over some homemade Vegan Fried Rice and a Purple Mat I lay down on the Kitchen floor every morning could be the thing I needed to push my Lotus Flower through the murky water into a new day and into the sun light but they have.

  Just in case it was the Tempeh Meal I will give you the recipe below. Who knows stepping out of your comfort zone might just awaken your lotus flower and before you know it you too will be reaching new heights not for anyone else but just so you can experience you being you..

 Be True, Be You....   

Orange Glazed Tempeh and Vegan Fried Rice

I must admit I fool around with recipes and do a little research on the best way to cook things before starting so I will give you the list of ingredients and then tell you how I prepared it but remember to find what works for you. it is not perfection that counts here. Just the willingness to try something new and to be experimental when it comes to cooking. I believe if you do that no recipe can go wrong and next time you can tweak it if you need to. Well Enjoy, I sure did!!!

Vegan Fried Rice

1 c. or package Brown Rice or Quinoa { I did a mixture of both; yummy }

 {all vegetables diced or cut to your desire}
1 c. Red bell peppers

1 c. Green onions 

1 c. Carrots

1 c. Golden or Red Beets 

1/2 c. Purple Cabbage

1/2 c. Peas

1 c. Water Chestnut 

1/2 c Yam

1 tsp Jalapeno

1 tsp garlic and ginger

After gathering your Vegetables use a saute pan and you can use Olive oil or Coconut Oil as your base. Then add Veggies

Mix in  1/4 c Soy Sauce { I use Tamari Gluten Free Soy Sauce}

1/4 c. Lemon Juice

If you are using Brown Rice since it can take up to 40 minutes, while it is cooking that is a good time to prep your vegetables and your Tempeh
other wise you can prep then cook a quick rice mixer

Tempeh Original is what I used in this recipe but you can try another if your familiar with it.

I like to prepare my vegetables before starting any dish I have never cooked before it is a bit more time consuming the first time but I feel this way I am not stressing about having to many things going at once. So as I was chopping the vegetables I was also preparing my Tempeh to be cooked. 

 The Tempeh for this dish should be cut in Triangles ( you can find how to's on You Tube) its very simple.

I learned while researching Tempeh that some people steam it before cooking. In this recipe you don't have to but they say it removes some of the nutty flavor from it. Since it was my first time and I did not have time to marinate the Tempeh before I thought this would be good to help it hold the flavor.

Yes you can cut and marinate the Tempeh one hour or longer before cooking to also cut down on prep time for this dish. { see it removes all excuses... }

If you decide to steam it just place it in the steamer or a steam basket for about 10 minutes. it should turn a lighter color when its done.

While I was sauteing my veggies and steaming my Tempeh I was also cooking my rice since both will take only a short amount of time. 

while the Veggies were sauteing on a low heat I then made the Orange Glaze Marinade.

Orange Marinade

1 c. Orange Juice or if your adventurous Fresh Squeezed. 

1 Tsp Ginger

2 cloves of Garlic ( crushed would be best but follow your soul)

2 Tsp Soy Sauce

1 1/2  AJI-MIRIN (sweet cooking rice seasoning; found in the Asian section of the grocery store)

2 Tsp Maple Syrup

1/2 Tsp Coriander

add a little Black pepper

For Garnish and a special touch at the end

1/2 lime 

a stem of Clilantro

place all ingredients in a bowl in which you will pour over the Tempeh during cooking it. 

Once your Tempeh is steamed and your Veggies sauteed set the them aside by this time your rice should be almost there but just with enough time to cook the Tempeh. 

Take a large Saute pan one large enough to hold the Tempeh and the Marinade and then add some either Coconut Oil or Olive Oil to the bottom of your pan then add your Tempeh brown on each side for about 5 minutes each side or if your like me keep turned to get all sides a golden brown. and then add the Marinade and simmer for about 10-12 minutes. When its done it should have a glaze and it should of taken in most if not all of the marinade. While your Tempeh is simmering your rice should be in the final stages of being done.

Once the rice is done add your sauteed veggies and your Tempeh should be smelling wonderful and looking glazed. Remember the steaming already started the Tempeh cooking with the marinade your just cooking in those delicious flavors. 

So by this time both should be done and its time for the final touches. place the rice at the bottom of your dish followed by your orange glazed Tempeh. 

Top with a squeeze of lime if you have one or lemon will do 

add a  piece of Cilantro 

and then ENJOY!!!!!

I hope this dish and your daily devotion to you no matter what that is brings you the joy and peace it is to me and have a great Mothers Day weekend...... 

Swimming In A Sea Of Happiness.....

 This morning I am swimming in a sea of happiness. Last night I was gifted a new computer and I am still in awe of the kindness and love that went into it. What a blessing to know that I can go back to what I am passionate about, sharing my thoughts and my life through writing. It is who I am, I have countless journals to prove it. 
 As I opened up Love Poems From God I was taken back by how my life seems to be just that. A poem from God. Just like the book all I have to do is open it and the words seem to speak to me in the way my heart needed to hear in that moment. My life has been that the few past weeks as I decided to put the turmoil aside and listen to my soul and allow it to guide my actions and reaction. What a beautiful awaking that has been happening.
 Things that once bothered me like a disease I didn't want to catch like others negativity and chaos have been more like watching a river flow then getting caught up in the current. I am not sure what I can say changed it. My new devotion to yoga, the 17 years I have been working on my mind or that my spirit has finally stopped looking for God and just accepted that all I had to do was surrender and go within for my answers. Why question or even search that has been what the last 17 years has been a journey of the mind to only realize that all I ever needed to do was stop seeking and start living. Not living from the mind, Not obsessing on my body or even searching for my humanity through my spirit. Just remembering if I want to honor God and be the living poem of his creation all that is needed is to start honoring myself and everything else will fall into place effortlessly. Some might say this insight comes with age but I know plenty of people my senior that are still struggling to find themselves or even find happiness from within. It comes from living and letting life be your teacher and your soul be your guide. 
This morning once again this book spoke to me, not in the words I read but in the meaning of the spirit in which it was wrote, to see God in everything and let everything be a poem to honor the creator and the creation.... 

What a beautiful way to start my day

I love the first day of the Farmers Market. The sense of adventure in seeing what Mother Earth has been birthing at the hands of the great people at my local market. It like a reunion as we greet each other after our winter break. A opportunity to get reacquainted and also make new friends. This year I was happy like always to see two toads farm there along with all the other smiles that greeted me. Lots of seedlings to offer and some new items made the early run downtown worth it. My most exciting find was sun dried tomatoes. I got some goat cheese that would be delicious mixed in.. Yummy! On the other hand a new vender this year offered homemade deodorant. My friend Georgana just started making some for herself which intrigued  me. I'm not so crafty as that so I bought some. Lavender and Tea Tree oil. I'm very excited to try it out. Boy does that sound funny, excited about deodorant.  What makes me excited is helping local merchants and farmers while taking care of myself and my son. So if you have never been to a Famers Market or your waiting for yours to reopen get out today and go to one. It could just change your life. It did mine! I owe my health to those farmers and them fighting for EBT funds so people like me can eat heathy on a fixed or low income. Everyone deserves great health regardless of who they are and what they can afford. God bless the farmers and those who put their talents to use to make a better world for me and you...
Now to enjoy what I got, I see a wonderful salad in my future...

Getting Inspired

I love going to the library and seeing what books want to come home with me. I see a theme coming together...

They say I am a dreamer....

It might be raining outside but in my heart the sun is shining. 
I woke up with a Pebble and Bam Bam song playing in my head " let the sunshine in". Thank God for You Tube I was able to look it up and what a smile I had listening to that this morning. I ended up posting it on my Facebook, I am sure some people got a giggle about it. I know I did. 
While watching it I was thinking about the difference between the way TV influenced me and how it influences the children today. I grew up with music and laughter and they now are growing up with violence and music that express sex and in some cases more violence. When I thinking about all the variety shows that made us laugh and the sitcoms that brought a life message without skin and the 7 deadly sins as a everyday occurrence.  No wonder at times we all want to put our heads in the sand and let the kids sort it out for themselves some where down the rode.   I am so grateful I have brought my childhood into my son's life.  He has been raised on Classic TV and it is a blessing to see his mind expand by bridging not only laughter and joy but sadness and unnecessary violence. Even this morning we had a talk about age appropriate games and movies. It seems I have taught him well when he says to me " Your right mom all you have to do is look around at the world to see what we have been doing is not working". I use that line a lot. If how we have been raising the last few generations was so good then why are we in the mess were in now? 
What a difference it could make if TV went back to making us laughter, not at others pain and misery but just for the sake of laughing. What if we brought back variety shows where comedians and actors let loose and taught us it was okay to laugh at ourselves and not take life so serious.   To bring back the Gong Show, where talent wasn't based on looks and ratings but real talent or the lack of it. Would it really be so bad to not have reality shows that are scripted to either distort or exploit life and other behaviors or even stop watching death television, isn't  real death and murder enough for us? We have to watch it 24 hours a day?  What if ? What if the whole world for a week unplugged and plugged back into life, if the kids put on musicals and comedy skits and the grown up put down their phones and showed them we cared.  If we each took time to get to know our neighbors and reconnect to our families, What a difference a week could make. What if TV became a tool again for upliftment  instead of destruction.   You can say I am a dreamer and maybe that is true but I can say TV once taught me to dream and I am glad I am able to give that gift to my son too....  

Tick Tock.....

Tick Tock goes the clock on this roller coaster I call my life. The past few months have been a balancing act of maintaining all I have gained while battling an emotional and physical custody battle that even as of today is still in motion. 
I must admit that I have not done a very good job at times but I will say I have grown tremendously. In the emotions of fear of losing what I love the most, I have found the peace to find a deeper strength I never knew I had. I faced death with courage and faith, I have endured poverty like I have never known yet today I have found a peace I never expected to find.  
I had been lost in emotions for so long and I let my fears of the unknown keep me from living in the now and experiencing what is real. 
What is real? 
I am stiff because I have let my yoga practice take a back seat. 
My body has suffered the ills of neglect so I have had to go back to western medicine. 
My mind was lost in emotions so long I almost lost touch with the magic of my life. 
I am now crawling out of the dark into the light and I have never felt more devoted to myself, my son and our future... 
Today I recommitted myself to the things that bring me joy;
spending quality time with my son
my yoga mat
painting 
conscious eating and 
creative expression.... 
Funny thing, the moment I decided to live in devotion instead of fear the sun came out, my heart opened like never before and a peace the passeth all understanding entered my heart... 
As the Sun is setting, rose incense is burning in the living room, I just made some homemade ketchup to go with my meatless Mondays dinner and soon we will be settling down to watch a movie. 
I would say life doesn't get better then this but there is always tomorrow...