Yesterday my mind was a buzz with blogging, bringing an old group Medical Misfits back to life on Facebook and feeling somewhat alive again. My body is still in a resting mode. I have been rubbing on Lemongrass oil on my neck and shoulders along with doTerra Balance. The combination of the two have been helpful in relieving the stiffness in those areas. Yesterday was the first full day without a headache and No Body aches! I have decided to take the rest of the week and possible weekend to continue resting up while getting caught up. My mind seems to be sharper and ready to get on with organizing all the information and notes I have had since early 2000.
I am right now and have been going through my numerous notebooks and getting familiar with what is in them. Since a lot of them were written during my illness and I cant even remember writing most of the things. I recognize my hand writing but some of the words and thoughts are escaping me now when I am looking back. You can't imagine what a strange sense I get when reading such emotional words knowing they came from my heart but I have no memory of writing them let alone experiencing them, During my illness Dr. P said to help me understand how the reoccurring encephalitis was affecting my brain was to watch 50 First Dates. That gave me the idea to write so I could remember but I seemed to forgot sometimes to write, leaving just moments in time captured on paper with no rhyme or reason. Thoughts along with recipes. yoga theory and poses, insight into inflammation, viral diseases to evolution theories and profound understandings of man and his relationship to the universe and himself. it is a 15 year of study and inner perspective during a time when I was trying to understand what was happening to me and my body. It is a looking back not in the same way as one remembers memories of a past it is more in the amazement that the mind is more than a body part that tells the body what it is seeing, feeling and then try and make sense of it. It is a beautiful bio organic computer capable of doing things in which we have yet to be able to understand. One can say it has a mind of its own. Possibly a higher mind/self in which with open ears all of us can hear when we listen with our hearts and not the mind. I can only speak for myself but in my case that higher mind was not only being a single mother but taking notes and gathering information to not only keep me alive then but even know. It left me memories of moments in time but it also left me with insight that has changed the very person I am and I see it changing my future as over the past 48 hours I have been amazed by the information I have at my fingertips. Its like many books are waiting to be written and all the research has already been done for me. Like a good student its time for me to gather my notes and write that thesis. My life is taking shape and I am so glad I am not in charge but my passion for helping others, my desire to be the change I want to see and the sheer fact that I didn't come this far to leave just yet, is!!! Time to let the Higher Mind/ Spirit Conciseness/Heart/Soul any word you describe that Divine Essences that never left my side while I was sick and kept my body, heart and soul in the kind of Faith it took to fight the sleeping dragon to take the reigns this time, the only difference is illness does not have to be its inspiration, Living an authentic life is.....
No comments:
Post a Comment