Wednesday, June 22, 2011
The Stages In Between...
When I start to feel like this it feels like waking up from a dream. I know I have said that before but this time in a deeper sense. It's like I have awoke from a deep sleep, feeling like I must solve my own riddle before I fall back asleep. It seems strange to be enjoying the day, riding out so many beautiful emotions and interactions with life that I almost forgot I was sick, until I sit here looking through test results and doctors notes, armed with a pen, paper and the internet along with a few books from the library does it hit me again. Like a cold breeze on a sunny day. Its different this time, I am setting out to uncover my own destiny when It come to this virus. This time I am going to be ready for it. I will never be caught off guard again.
Its hard to explain but my brain seem to lift from the fog every few weeks. The pattern at first was hard to track but the last two times I tried a new strategy. I try to notice something that I am doing.. watching shows or eating certain foods, etc . sounds strange but it's like trying to remember a piece of who you are when your awake so when you go back to sleep you wont forget. I still never know when I am going in but I am starting to know when I am coming out. That's new! I really dont know how long I have this time or how long the next one will last. This last one was 10 months and even at this moment I cant be sure it really has gone dormant. Its a day to day thing, sometimes moment to moment but for now I have a piece of me back... I love it when she comes out to play! I love and miss her so when she is gone... I have connected some dot to this virus and I am now starting a juicing and eating program. Something very simple to start since it is day to day. I am also linking some information regarding HSE, CFS and the HHV Family. I am still awe struck that the one virus that plagues me is the one that is saving my life.... Now if my body is the refection of life in this dimension, what does that say about the fact that miracles are still happen everyday. Pay attention because they might just be disguised as something else...
Its hard to explain but my brain seem to lift from the fog every few weeks. The pattern at first was hard to track but the last two times I tried a new strategy. I try to notice something that I am doing.. watching shows or eating certain foods, etc . sounds strange but it's like trying to remember a piece of who you are when your awake so when you go back to sleep you wont forget. I still never know when I am going in but I am starting to know when I am coming out. That's new! I really dont know how long I have this time or how long the next one will last. This last one was 10 months and even at this moment I cant be sure it really has gone dormant. Its a day to day thing, sometimes moment to moment but for now I have a piece of me back... I love it when she comes out to play! I love and miss her so when she is gone... I have connected some dot to this virus and I am now starting a juicing and eating program. Something very simple to start since it is day to day. I am also linking some information regarding HSE, CFS and the HHV Family. I am still awe struck that the one virus that plagues me is the one that is saving my life.... Now if my body is the refection of life in this dimension, what does that say about the fact that miracles are still happen everyday. Pay attention because they might just be disguised as something else...
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