It has been a while
since I have sat down and looked at my life and what a journey I have
been on these last few months.
Recommitting myself
to a healthy eating plan and yoga, while taking myself out of my home
environment
Committing to a new
store and possible seeing clients again
Taking on the task
of moving my mother 3000 miles across the US with limited time and
funds to do it
Standing up in a
court battle which if the truth be told is only a cover up for lies
and deception and a power struggle to keep ones pride while not
looking at the casualty of innocence it has taken on our son.
while all along
battling to keep my health, my sanity and now menopause at bay,
overall I would say I am doing quite well.
The truth be told
very well.
What can I rest my
success on? The promise of a new day, a new life and the comfort of
knowing everything is temporary and changeable.
Sometimes it is hard
in the mist of emotional fear or discomfort to see no end, to allow
ourselves to get caught up in the feeling of surrender and defeat.
It is what up until
now has made us human but also vulnerable to being victims. Sometimes
of others and sometimes of our own making.
Yet I find strength
in my ability to change and adapt to any situation in which I find
myself. This hasn't always been true for me but now it seems like a
natural response. Maybe lets call it evolution, my own personal one.
One in which change is the springboard of new possibilities and new
lives hidden sometimes in the mist of chaos.
Believe me there has
been chaos these past few months and there certainly has been change
and not all of it pleasant but as I rise above or even look back I
can see a perfect pattern challenging my own wants and desires, my
claims of virtue and unconditional love and as always my "Faith".
I can also see an unfolding of the same in those around me. Some have
failed where other and myself has grabbed the brass ring and decided
to toss it again and again until we reach that goal of gaining and
finding balance in a world that day after day is slipping more into a
paradigm of uncertainty and unrest and noticeably unbalance.
I once was told I
enjoyed surfing the waves of change and I find that truer and truer
each day, change no matter in what garb it wears wanted or even
unexpected leads us into unknown possibility and gives us a great
look into what we are capable of doing and allows us to escape the
victim role in which most of us live our day to day lives.
You can either learn
the lesson it brings or be stuck, maybe even trapped in the world in
which change is seen as enemy not our savior.
These past months at
times it was both but with out it I would not seen my strength, not
witnessed my own personal growth and not seen the lack in others
needed to move forward in my life.
My journey is far
from over and I am truly just at the mid-point but yet some how I can
see the finish line from here and I can see the invisible world
cheering my vitality and the visible waiting my outcome. As for me I
again will move one day at a time, one moment at a time if needed, I
will express my feelings, let go of emotions and move forward knowing
deep in my heart with out change I would of surely died long ago. So
I will live life as if a gift and see change as my savior and lead by
example that it is true I am only Human but that does not mean I am
unworthy of the task before me, a sinner if I stubble and fall and
not a failure it I don't do it as others would, it means simply;
I see as my
ancestors did we came from nothing and built all you see around us
with only our minds and two things in which we call hands and that
alone is a miracle worth celebrating and would be a dishonor to do
anything less....
May the change in
your life honor the change in mine and together may we build a new
paradigm where change is welcomed not feared and where our dreams and
desires do not trample on the dreams and desires of others but
empower each other to be the best we can be in all ways and surf the
waves of change as if you were born to ride......
