I am not sure about anyone else but I am getting the message loud and clear about "Slow down and Find some Balance" Some of us including me were hoping to find a partner or even with the one we were with that together we would find balance, the twin flame aspect. together teaching each other and carrying each other through the shift of the Ages.. In my case that did not happen and I was forced with a Deeper more meaning full one... To Find Balance Inside Myself... this is not everyone's but it Is mine and I am sure there are others... So now the next step in to learn take that balance into my everyday life.. wow what a Challenge it has been so far and I am only a few days into even understand it myself.. It is opening a new world I never thought was there... If this what they have been talking about then it is right there like a veil waiting to be lifted. It is all in slowing down, looking around and trying some balance.. looking at things from a new perception not one created for you but one you give to yourself.. what a beautiful space it is to be here.. and to be able to share it with everyone around me.
Austin seems to be feeling it as well. He finds it funny to see me coming to life in ways that maybe we had talked about, done maybe once 5 years ago. Like this morning we had a pillow fight. We started our morning with a bit of laughter in a way that a year ago even if I could I wouldn't because I was so against aggression. I had watched the boys play where we lived in California and it was nothing but kicking and hitting each other and the Parents were just oblivious to the impact their children behavior was doing to the other kids and the Parent like me that had to either protect our kids or watch them beat up other parents children. No wonder at my bus stop now I am known as the "Bus Stop Mother". I laugh but it is true . There seemed to be no balance so that left me with none because I did not want Austin growing up thinking that to play with someone and have fun you have to hit them or kick them. the idea of hurting someone and then saying "I was just playing" and that was okay was not with me. Something inside me said this just cant be right.
The right thing I thought was to just let him play with kids that didn't play like that. There was our problem. the task was like looking for a needle in a haystack, far and few in between. So I would take hi to parks and we would take day trips so we could get out but also hopefully meet others like us. When that was a bust I thought maybe inviting the kids over one at a time might be best. That did have its perks until we were invited to event and the brawls and mini UFC matches happened and I either was the paranoid mom or one of though hippie kind. As you can see I was finding no balance. By that point I must say neither was I was pretty disillusioned at the state I had found myself when it came to this. If I said okay Austin to make friend you will just have to throw out the "Hands are for Helping Not For Hurting" that you were taught by us and reinforced by your school or you can stay safe in the world of only playing with your cousins.. What a small world I was creating for him or was it society that was now forcing me to hold onto my standard meant being isolated in our own community. Most of you all know what I did to find my answer, I moved 3000 miles away.
I took a risk that has so paid off in many ways. I realized that I would not conform my beliefs to those around me whose value did not reflect those of my own. I do not judge them anymore because I have tried to understand, be apart of and even reach out to but that is their way of live and I respect it even if I choose to not be a part of it. You see in learning Balance you must seek to find your own not force other to adapt to yours. We are all individuals whose values and experiences make us who we are and to change that is to deny oneself and that only creates an in balance in family, communities and the world. When Austin came to Maine at first he too had to find balance with play. he was so use to the children being demanding and forceful and even hurtful he took a hard stance. Which was hard as a mother to see that the play time he had experienced had left its mark on who he was already. ( those of you that read my web page know this story of this fear. and yes it came to pass) Over time he adjust to the tough and rugged kid play here but without the needless hitting and kicking or even the being bullied. Kids here like the outdoor and their imagination as well as video games and a little rough house but it was different.. It was the fact that the core values where I live now are so different from those where I moved from. It has given us both a chance to find balance in playing. Where once I band guns of any kind, I now have bought a few. He is aloud to play battle and fighting with toy weapons and light saver. The differences now is we have a understanding, we talked about the real world and the violence that has created chaos that is effecting us all in one way or another. We still keep having discussion as he gets older. Even just last week he had a sleep over where the last one it was all fighting and guns to the point where someone got hurt so this time Austin decide that it best since what happened last time that they don't play with the Nerf guns. So he let his friend know and he was fine with it so on the way to the house we had a chance to talk and the boys I think learned a few things that helped them get a new perceptive because the next morning I could tell they were restless to go outside and play but , play what without weapons. They are boys... so I said look we had a good talk and you have been so good why dont you play outside with your guns. To my surprise they decide that if they did they would not use bullets and they would rather use bow and arrows and toy knifes. I must say it was nice seeing them making choice of balance when given the option to not have too. I think Austin and I have came to a place where like this morning that the act is in the heart and everything in balance is great it is when we are closed to other perceptive or we walk away from our own truths that our life becomes unbalanced and then unmanageable.. Balance I am find is not a destination as much as a way to navigate my journey and that I am just starting to understand how powerful it can be in the big picture and in the everyday moments.
What a beautiful gift to see that lesson come full circle today as I had the best pillow fight I have ever had in my life and that was worth moving 3000 miles and waiting 3 years for!!!!!
This Post Inspired By My Life and Being drawn to Research what an unbalanced
life would look like by watching "Wife Swap" want an eye opener
watch a few episodes of that! Bet you can find a reflection of yourself (I sure did a few times)
Laugh your Butt off then find some balance in your life and some tolerance in those around you!!
