I can see a theme running through the airwaves of sorts this morning. One of wholeness and relationship. This is not a new theme but it seems to be a personal one. I mean that in the most literal sense. After settling in for my morning stretch and communion with self. I found my mind drifting into thoughts about the upcoming Venus Transit. What are we or more like I to gather from this event and its energy. From all I have read about it is once again letting go of the old and allowing the new. Removing blocks and old patterns from our path. This time though its on a more personal front. Like everyone else I have been purging outside stress, toxins and anything that I felt was keeping me from moving forward. I have bravely faced my demons and still continue to pull my own covers but this energy is asking something different, something deeper. It is asking me to become whole. complete within myself. This is not something I think I even know how to do. So as you can see my thoughts were only taking me deeper into the confusing world of the mind/Ego then it happened, Validation!
As I picked up my Mediation Book " Awakening" by Shakti Gawain I was greeted by the last two days entries.. June 3rd "wholeness within us" and June4th "Bring Spirit into world". As I started to read it all became clear, what a simply message Venus was bringing me as the answer. "To become whole we must live a scared life." the concept seemed even foreign to me.
The first entry "wholeness within us" talked about developing a relationship with ourselves. I have found comfort and strength through out my illness and life with this concept. When I say concept I must admit that is all it has been to me. I have thought being alone to be equal to being in relationship. Boy was I wrong. You can be alone and still never know yourself. You must learn to be in communion with self. Something I have tried to practice but living it daily I must admit have been a rough task. I think when I was a child I was my best friend, my counsel, protector, mother and so on. It seemed natural to trust yourself and to discover more about you as you learned new things and took on new adventures. Somewhere over time that inner validation became the voice of someone who knew nothing and outside validation became the demanded even sot after emotional validation. I have had this insight many times;You must love yourself because looking for outside validation will never satisfy what only you can give yourself. A strange thing happens when you stop seeking outside validation the first thing you notice is those who you were seeking after almost become resentful you don't need them anymore. What we didn't realize was we were their validations for their worth as well. Its like a mind game we play with each other.. I will make you fell worthy if you make me. and when someone doesn't do it in the way we think they should or could we get resentful. This also keeps us from a relationship with our selves. we are so busy learning what other expect and want from us to be validated we lose ourselves. The other thing is we have to take responsibly for our own thoughts and action. this can be scary, no one to blame but ourselves. When we stop seeking our validation outside ourselves we will soon get past the fear and there is a freedom to be ourselves, our true self without guards or masks.Can you imagine a world were you began to trust yourself to make the best decisions for you. Seems only right doesn't it? That is the one person you will never truly be able to lie to and you do know you best don't you?
Now that we know where we are going how do we get there. Today June 4th entry had that answer. "Bring Spirit into world" This was an eye opener for me . First I am being asked to have a relationship with myself to become whole within and now I am being asked to bring spirit into my world. I was at first thinking "Like more prayer and ritual" but no it was deeper then that .. that was another concept my mind was wanting to create but what was being asked was a living movement. A action to manifest the outcome. Then as if the heaven knew my prayer there it was laid out like a blue print. Learning to love yourself and treating myself and life sacred is bring spirit to the world. I must say we human make this path very confusing. like a riddle to the puzzle solved. When we bring honor, love and respect to all living things including ourselves we are loving God and all of the beautiful creations that stem from that.. Okay that was all dandy and fine, heard that before but what Venus was trying to say was simply put by getting to know yourself and developing a relationship you will become complete. the sacred union between the spiritual and Material worlds. I was so excited to get a deeper glimpse into this ancient teaching I said well how do I start? I heard clearly start with your body!! Get to know your body. What are you putting in it? what are you saying to it? have you taken the time to care for it? I must say it seemed like something so simple had been staring me in the face and yet even in my illness I was blind. I had not been treating my body like a temple more like a used car I just needed to keep going for a little longer. Treated it like a temple? Loved it? Talked to it even bothered to listen? I had to come face to face with my used car attitude and realize my life and even happiness depends on this scared union. without a body how would my consciousness have a place to express itself. Why had I lost this understanding. Where had it gone as a people, a race, as a global family. Then it hit me as I read on in the entry were she talked about the fact that we are derailed by distractions. It went on to say that is why in the past spiritual union was thought only to be found in a place of little distraction. That is why Monk and Nun locked them self away from the world to finally find peace among little to no distraction. They could spend their time is quiet reflection. I can relate, I have felt like I have been in lock down for many years dealing with this illness. I have let other things in to distract me but the one thing that has really got in my way is me. I found myself reexamining my treatment of my body and all the distraction I have allowed to get in the way of getting to know my body and treating it like the scared vessel Maybe that is the one thing lacking in my healing. To pull the band-aids off and start living in harmony with my body by first getting to know myself in a deeper more sacred way. I did something new today, I said I was sorry to my body for treating it with little to no respect and then I listened to its needs its wants. Funny it wanted Reiki .. I heard and listened and then honored it with my presence. I see a start of a beautiful relationship.
Its only fitting that on my birthday week the Venus Transit is asking me to love, and the one person it truly wants me to become in love with is me. To build a scared bridge of divine union between who I am and who I am becoming. To learn to see Me as a unique individual whose validation can only come from the self worth I gain from getting to know the beauty that is me in human form.. " I am finding wholeness within myself by bringing my spiritual essence into my daily life"