The Floor Of Broken Dreams

Where do you go when you have lost yourself? when the years have slipped by you and you wake up to find Your someone else.
When you look to the floor only seeing all of your broken dreams.
Do you shove them under the bed or do you stomp on them instead?
Or maybe you just crawl back to bed.
These are the thoughts that dance in my head.
I peek down to see if they have left  yet but no they only linger while I only feel regret.
I do not want to stomp on them for I think they keep me alive but I can not keep watching while each one dies.
I wonder if I have the courage it takes to forgive myself of all my mistakes.
To accept my weakness and live in only grace.
To gather my dreams picking them up one by one and putting them together until they are One.
Maybe I was never lost and was not looking to be found.
Just maybe, Just Maybe I never learned how to put my feet on the ground.

Setting Your Soul Free.....

Enlightenment is like a robe you wear.
As you move through the journey of self discovery it is shed and more light is let in.
It is what some have called the veil and others it is the darkness that blinds.
No matter the word used the experience has been mine.
It is a chance to let go of the concept, the person, the pain.
What ever the robe uncovers seems to never be the same.
It comes to the surface to be set free, to be released and remove the pains of yesterday.
I have lived many moments and wore many coats but this morning's was something different
It was the Cloak.
It had kept me covered and it silently had been weighing me down.
Holding me in one spot not letting me breathe, keeping me tied to the ground.
Covering my Truest nature, not allowing me to BE ME.
So I lifted the hood last night, then this morning I removed it for all to see.
Now I am Free as Free as can be.
Time to move on, Time to Learn To Live Being Me........

Can we say Brrrrr.......

typical -11 winter morning in Maine!

Surfing Feels Like...

 Today I came across this video on the addicting reasons for surfing.. I was not surprised when each person described the feeling  they got while surfing. To them it was like a deeper connection to self . In that  moment they are letting go of all thoughts and merging with the wave. As I listened it sounded like the sensation of mediation we all seek but through an act other than a sitting lotus position . No I am not trying to be sarcastic  but we all do still hold that concept when we think of meditation.  I know I sure did when I was introduced to the concept of meditation.  I had known of prayer and it sounded the same to me but it was just called something different and came from another part of the world. we are not born with concepts they are learned either by experience or by being taught by someone outside our self. So you can see that in a way surfing is meditation as is for some doing the dishes is. How many of us have a loved one or friend who when they need to relax or they are stressed they clean. Everyone should have someone that meditates like this in the family. it would be great when it came to the house work. You see we all have a different way of connecting to self and to the Universe and God. We all have different temples where we worship but it is the act of being connected to something greater than or more submissive then our self in that moment and holding that feeling long enough to know it has made a difference in your life that matters. it's the following your bliss, the being still in the moment and looking around. Its those moments when we touch the fact that we are alive that will matter the most over the years. We are so busy connecting to gadgets all day long that we forget to connect to ourselves let alone a higher understanding. I use many forms but my favorite is the bath. It is the one place I feel safe and surround by an element that gives life to the planet and all its children.. That is my moment of oneness . that place were I connect. It is in that simple act and the surrendering  to the moment that opens my heart in many ways that I can not explain.... what is your mediation? what moment do you chase, where do you connect and if you haven't,  find your moment and take it and watch what happens.. My new  2013 mediation practice will be to commit to a simple daily yoga stretch to help me stay connected to my body and mind..

    Remember meditation comes in Many forms. Wikipedia explains meditation as  a practice in which an individual trains the mind and/or induces a mode of consciousness to receive some benefit,[1]although it can be argued that meditation is a goal in and of itself.[2]

{The term meditation refers to a broad variety of practices (much like the term sports), which range from techniques designed to promote relaxation, contacting spiritual guides, building internal energy (chi, ki, prana, etc.), receiving psychic visions, getting closer to God, seeing past lives, taking astral journeys, and so forth, to more technical exercises targeted at developing compassion,[3] love, patience, generosity, forgiveness and more far-reaching goals such as effortlessly sustained single-pointed concentration,[4] single-pointed analysis,[5] and an indestructible sense of well-being while engaging in any and all of life's activities.}

but it also is the act of connecting to oneself in that moment and allowing the feeling to keep calling you back.... 

Another Maine Winter Conversation....

Me; Austin you better dress warm it's going to be cold outside

Austin; It's not cold Mom

Me; Austin it is suppose to be getting down into the one digits

Austin; That is only at night Mom..

Me; Austin its not like its noon out, let me see how cold it is...

Austin: I will be fine Mom

Me; It's 9 degrees Austin!!!

Austin; I will be fine Mom!!

Me; {tilts head and gives that mommy look I do}

Austin; I know, If I freeze my ass off don't coming running to you...

Me; Yup Austin....  {smiling cause he is so damn cute }

   

                Well another Christmas Vacation has come to an end. This one though will go down in History as one of the Best!!! We had it all this year; Our September trip to Santa's Vacation Ranch in New England                           {Of course}, A Personal Letter from Santa,  The Importance of 12/12/ 2012, Living Through The End Of The World, The Best Christmas Presents ever and Let Us Not forget Lots of LOVE!!! This was the first time in 4 years Austin and I have shared both holidays and were able to enjoy the whole season together. Beautiful Memories were made... This winter my boy is 10... probably the Last Christmas he will believe in the Magic of a Man Named Santa. It sad in a way but I can already tell he is still just pretending for me... Now that is what Christmas is really about.. LOVE, SACRIFICE and FAMILY... But this year I made sure he left the innocence of his Childhood with memories that he will carry in his heart forever... I know I will... I must say I have shed a few tears tonight knowing it must come to an end. At least the  Counting Of Calendar Days, The Staying Home All Day If We Choose, The Marathons of Sponge Bob and Fraggle Rock but the LOVE has just been replanted and the New year dreams have been watered.. Now tomorrow the commitment begins. I cant speak for Austin but 2012 was a Roller coaster of a YEAR and I am grateful for all it taught me but so glad it is over.....  

Bedside Reading...

This weeks bedside read is "Enoch" written by Autumn Williams.  its a story of a man and his relationship with "The Big Guy" a sasquatch.  So far it is a very interesting read..

Starting 2013 off on the right foot!

after a lot of trial and error I have discovered that what is best for me is not a generic fix but a mix of Natures finest especially made for me!