Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Embracing Change and Letting Go Of Fear.......



It has been a while since I have sat down and looked at my life and what a journey I have been on these last few months.
Recommitting myself to a healthy eating plan and yoga, while taking myself out of my home environment
Committing to a new store and possible seeing clients again
Taking on the task of moving my mother 3000 miles across the US with limited time and funds to do it
Standing up in a court battle which if the truth be told is only a cover up for lies and deception and a power struggle to keep ones pride while not looking at the casualty of innocence it has taken on our son.
while all along battling to keep my health, my sanity and now menopause at bay, overall I would say I am doing quite well.
The truth be told very well.
What can I rest my success on? The promise of a new day, a new life and the comfort of knowing everything is temporary and changeable.
Sometimes it is hard in the mist of emotional fear or discomfort to see no end, to allow ourselves to get caught up in the feeling of surrender and defeat.
It is what up until now has made us human but also vulnerable to being victims. Sometimes of others and sometimes of our own making.
Yet I find strength in my ability to change and adapt to any situation in which I find myself. This hasn't always been true for me but now it seems like a natural response. Maybe lets call it evolution, my own personal one. One in which change is the springboard of new possibilities and new lives hidden sometimes in the mist of chaos.
Believe me there has been chaos these past few months and there certainly has been change and not all of it pleasant but as I rise above or even look back I can see a perfect pattern challenging my own wants and desires, my claims of virtue and unconditional love and as always my "Faith". I can also see an unfolding of the same in those around me. Some have failed where other and myself has grabbed the brass ring and decided to toss it again and again until we reach that goal of gaining and finding balance in a world that day after day is slipping more into a paradigm of uncertainty and unrest and noticeably unbalance.
I once was told I enjoyed surfing the waves of change and I find that truer and truer each day, change no matter in what garb it wears wanted or even unexpected leads us into unknown possibility and gives us a great look into what we are capable of doing and allows us to escape the victim role in which most of us live our day to day lives.
You can either learn the lesson it brings or be stuck, maybe even trapped in the world in which change is seen as enemy not our savior.
These past months at times it was both but with out it I would not seen my strength, not witnessed my own personal growth and not seen the lack in others needed to move forward in my life.
My journey is far from over and I am truly just at the mid-point but yet some how I can see the finish line from here and I can see the invisible world cheering my vitality and the visible waiting my outcome. As for me I again will move one day at a time, one moment at a time if needed, I will express my feelings, let go of emotions and move forward knowing deep in my heart with out change I would of surely died long ago. So I will live life as if a gift and see change as my savior and lead by example that it is true I am only Human but that does not mean I am unworthy of the task before me, a sinner if I stubble and fall and not a failure it I don't do it as others would, it means simply;
I see as my ancestors did we came from nothing and built all you see around us with only our minds and two things in which we call hands and that alone is a miracle worth celebrating and would be a dishonor to do anything less....
May the change in your life honor the change in mine and together may we build a new paradigm where change is welcomed not feared and where our dreams and desires do not trample on the dreams and desires of others but empower each other to be the best we can be in all ways and surf the waves of change as if you were born to ride......