No Two Paths Will Ever Be The Same...

I find my life quite interesting at times. Like a roller coaster ride that I bought endless tickets too and forgot what I signed up for. It is always challenging to be a woman and a mother. You think you can be both but in this world we have created that can be a thin line,especially if you are single. When I say women I mean sensual being not gender stereo typing. Hard at times to run a household,  model both parenting roles, find inner peace and outer success and then put on a nightie at night and feel sexy. Let alone date. Whew just writing that made me tired and a bit confused. Try living it. well "This is my life". Now you can see why I call my blog that. I find myself in this very spot time and time again in my life thinking that damn I thought I worked that kink out in my life and now it pops up again. I can say one thing though every time it comes up I am made stronger by it. I grow from the experience and it is more like a gift now then a curse.
  For some on the outside this may be a bit disheartening to watch but no more then the area's in their life I can see they too need some work on or a need to repeat one of  life's lesson. The difference is I don't say anything, not unless asked because I believe it is your lesson not mine. My responsibility is to be there if you need someone to listen, mirror back what I am perceiving if asked and do it all without judgement because who am I to tell you what your path should be let alone if your doing it right. All this said because I am still making my way on my own journey. When I vent to people it is because I would like their input, I am not coming to them for what to do. I once did that and I no longer am that woman, let alone mother.  So now it is because I value your life experience in an area and I want to know what you would do if it was you. See key word what 'YOU" would do not necessarily what I will do or would ever do. A lot of people get that confused they want you to do what they would do but there is one problem with that your not them!! Hello, everyone's life experience is different and what works for one may not work for another hence the zillion self help book! So even if at times it seems like I have picked the craziest roller coaster ride this time. No worries. It's just me experiencing life and making mistakes to see what I have learned and  where I  can be growing in others areas. The life I have may not be easy at times but I did not choose it to be easy, I am not a sheep. I am a wolf . I choose it for the adventure, the experience, the loyalty to myself and my pack... Even if on the outside you can not see my growth, it's okay it is not for you to see anyways. It's for me!  Not only to see within myself but to know that I have learned from my last ride.  It is my journey, my path, my roller coaster and the choice is always up to me if I want to ride or not. Hell and when the choice is not up to me I know there is a higher learning that I need and what ever it is when I come out the other side I will be a better person for it makes the ride itself way worth it. So just because my path does not look like yours does not mean I haven't came a long way or I don't know where I am going.. I bought this ticket so let me ride but be there for me to share my experience since we are all in this together.... <3

The Doors - Break On Through (To the Other Side)

Coming Out The Other Side Of Change....

   It always amazes me when I find I have come out the other side of change. I don't mean those simple changes as picking a different brand of toothpaste, I mean a life altering change. Some people only defy change as a physical one. Not in my world, I seem to do a lot of transformation of thoughts and actions. Which you think would be a easier process but unfortunately that is not the case. I would rather change tooth paste flavors then look in the mirror of my life. Looking at my behaviors and pattern has been no ease task and it has been a long road with many years of inner reflection and outer evaluation but I must say I wouldn't change a thing. I have now come to understand it is a never ending flow of life and cycles and patterns that have lead me to this moment in time. One in which is never ending.
 It is not until you come through to the other side {see Jim Morrison did know what he was taking about}
that you see where you have made the most changes in your life. Some might be physical, others emotional or even spiritual. The biggest is when there is a shift in all three but no matter the change I am convinced it all started with your thoughts and that is where choices and change are born.
  I was just looking back on the past few months and something clicked and I saw them in a very simplest form. "There is always two paths you can choose and it's up to you which way you go. "  I was in awe of what a pure honest statement that is. My thoughts and  My action created choices and each choice was solely up to me and me alone. Like I have said for a while It like testing ourselves. I am not sure what part of ourselves or maybe it is a higher source that plays a role in moving us along the cosmic and physical paths either way it is our moment of change. Over the years I have played with many theories to explain it or explain it away. I have read many books, searched under many rocks and listen to countless others theories as well only to be left with this conclusion.  Its just the Law of Nature. broke down in it most simplistic of ways.  For evolution to happen there must be changes made to the structures of cells and plants oh and that does include people. As much as we are a technological world based on plastic and metals at our base we are organic.  So change must incur for a species to survive but most of all thrive. We choose usually the path of complacence because we know we can survive there. The thought of thriving scares us because we know there we must move with the sands of change. I was told a few years back that I loved change I  "surf the winds of change and there I am the happiest". I really didn't understand that for years well until now.
  Change is fundamental for personal and global evolution. Our world is looking to go on two paths right at this moment in our history. One in which life is based on Technology and Bio mechanics. Where an artificial life will be lead, one in which bees are robots and clones walk where once human tread or One in which we embrace our organic humanness and embrace living in local and global communities with individualism praised and encouraged. There is one other choice you can choose to do nothing and let others choose for you but remember if you do that you still are solely responsible for the outcome because you still made a choice to do nothing. I don't know about you but I am fighting for embracing my humanness and learning to be a fully functioning human and enjoying the fact that I am choosing the path of change with every thought and action. Is it always easy, Hell No. but it is so worth it when you come out the other side. To be able to know you rode out the winds of change, only to come out the other side learning more about yourself and the world around, it almost makes this time in history worth being born in. { I said almost... lol } It's when you realize you have the power with in yourself to make a difference in the world by simply making the best choices for you in yours that you know you have been more then surviving, you have been thriving... what a GREAT feeling that is.....This must be what it feels like to be "ALIVE"......