I find my life quite interesting at times. Like a roller coaster ride that I bought endless tickets too and forgot what I signed up for. It is always challenging to be a woman and a mother. You think you can be both but in this world we have created that can be a thin line,especially if you are single. When I say women I mean sensual being not gender stereo typing. Hard at times to run a household, model both parenting roles, find inner peace and outer success and then put on a nightie at night and feel sexy. Let alone date. Whew just writing that made me tired and a bit confused. Try living it. well "This is my life". Now you can see why I call my blog that. I find myself in this very spot time and time again in my life thinking that damn I thought I worked that kink out in my life and now it pops up again. I can say one thing though every time it comes up I am made stronger by it. I grow from the experience and it is more like a gift now then a curse.
For some on the outside this may be a bit disheartening to watch but no more then the area's in their life I can see they too need some work on or a need to repeat one of life's lesson. The difference is I don't say anything, not unless asked because I believe it is your lesson not mine. My responsibility is to be there if you need someone to listen, mirror back what I am perceiving if asked and do it all without judgement because who am I to tell you what your path should be let alone if your doing it right. All this said because I am still making my way on my own journey. When I vent to people it is because I would like their input, I am not coming to them for what to do. I once did that and I no longer am that woman, let alone mother. So now it is because I value your life experience in an area and I want to know what you would do if it was you. See key word what 'YOU" would do not necessarily what I will do or would ever do. A lot of people get that confused they want you to do what they would do but there is one problem with that your not them!! Hello, everyone's life experience is different and what works for one may not work for another hence the zillion self help book! So even if at times it seems like I have picked the craziest roller coaster ride this time. No worries. It's just me experiencing life and making mistakes to see what I have learned and where I can be growing in others areas. The life I have may not be easy at times but I did not choose it to be easy, I am not a sheep. I am a wolf . I choose it for the adventure, the experience, the loyalty to myself and my pack... Even if on the outside you can not see my growth, it's okay it is not for you to see anyways. It's for me! Not only to see within myself but to know that I have learned from my last ride. It is my journey, my path, my roller coaster and the choice is always up to me if I want to ride or not. Hell and when the choice is not up to me I know there is a higher learning that I need and what ever it is when I come out the other side I will be a better person for it makes the ride itself way worth it. So just because my path does not look like yours does not mean I haven't came a long way or I don't know where I am going.. I bought this ticket so let me ride but be there for me to share my experience since we are all in this together.... <3
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