I am who I am and I wouldn't change a thing!!!!

Most of you know I have struggled time and time again with a illness that not only in some aspect stole my life but also gave me some of the best insights into life itself. As I look back at the last few years let alone my whole life I am struck with a observation I am sure only I can reach because it is only I who has lived with this 24/7. It is only I that live from the perception of my own mind. Through the last few years of my active illness I have struggled many times to explain myself, express myself and reach out to others in many ways, it is not until now being in remission 9 months can I really start to see it all come together as my mind is now clearer and my memory sharper than it has been in a while. It has only been lately that I have been able to myself come to terms with a illness that not only effect my body but also my mind.
Like coming out of a deep sleep to awake only to find that you have been living between two worlds or sometimes more like living in two worlds at the same time. Looking back and even observing myself now I can see how this illness has shaped along with my experience who I am and how I view the world and universe around me. Over the years I have tried to understand it myself, I have tried to seek answers outside myself as well, only to time and time again be brought back to my own conclusions and theories. That is not to say that I have not had many experience and validations of my perceptions from others including highly educated people but it is to say that I have met very few people who truly get me and understand fully the world I see through my eye. That truly understand my perception of the world we live in. How can they, many time I find myself confused by it as well.
The last 9 months have been a eye opener on many levels of my life. At times bringing me to my knees and other bringing the beauty of the world into full circle. I am still in the process of understanding everything but one thing is becoming clearer and clearer.. That life is more then the shadow aspects of our mind or the programmed beliefs we have been taught and that life is not about learning to Survive It but learning to Live It..... and that I am who I am because of who I am and that does not make me broken or an outcast but that makes me beautifully unique unto itself...