Wow
what a past few days it has been. I guess that woodpecker I saw the
other day wasn’t kidding, change is here! With all the small daily
changes I have been making it seems like I can feel the progress. I
woke up this morning feeling lighter. I know that might seem like a
strange thing to say but its how I feel. My body feels slimmer and
my movement more glided then setting down each foot step. My mind
even feels sharper as I started my day with inspiration from within.
It is like every moment I am living through change. Each moment an
opportunity to expand my mind, body and soul.
I
must say it has been a long time since I have felt this good.
It
was the year 2007 and I had learned I had Chronic EBV. At the time
not much was known about it. When the doctored called to give me the
results he said “ I have good news and bad news, you were right you
have chronic mono, which is EBV. The bad news is it is rare and not
enough people have it so there is not enough research for me to do
anything for you at this time. “ Yes talk about a slap of reality.
So I did what I had done since I was 30 and got the shingles
repeatedly every month, I researched. I became my own doctor. I
learned that my immune system was not working at its full potential
and that something was definitively wrong with my B-cells. I had to
build up my immunity. I went back to the doctors where armed with my
new research we set into motion a set of Allergy tests along with a
Gluten and Celiac test. I also started B12 shots. I also made a
decision to get my carbs addiction under control. To my surprise I
came back allergic to things I had ate my whole life and even that
very day. I was shocked at the results! Animal, Environmental and
Food allergies were off the chart. I should have been living in a
plastic bubble. Had I been allergic all my life or was my immune
system that shot that I was poisoning my body everyday and not even
knowing it. All I knew was that I had to change everything I could
and I did. From things around the house to the food I was putting in
my mouth changed over night and over the next few months. It was
very hard on everyone, emotionally and financially. I was left
depressed and feeling like I would only be able to eat raw lettuce
with lemon juice for the rest of my life and have to live in a
plastic bubble suit. I had been through so much and now the comfort
of food was being taken away. Meals became a time of shame and
depression. If we went to friends or family house I had to explain
why I had to bring my own food and what was wrong with me. I tried to
make the best of it but it was hard when one; I didn’t know what
was really wrong and two; It felt bad enough them feeling sorry they
had to eat in front of me and other with the to bad for you but yum
this is sooo good attitude. One day it just got to be to much! Guess
you can say I had enough!
I
turned to You Tube!! I knew there had to be something out there. I
was a sick stay at home mom who had a 5 year old at home and I needed
some help. I found it one morning with a video posted from Ani Phyo.
I had been researching for a while when I came across raw food..
it was a perfect fit! Then watching her make a fresh raw apple pie,
I knew I found a piece of heaven in my food hell. I got out my
allergy list and went to work. I started studying raw food and
turning my kitchen into a pharmacy! I loved it. It was slow at first
and the idea of some of the recipes were so foreign that at times it
intimated me but I was committed. I decide to go to the library and
see if they had her cookbook “ani's raw food kitchen” They did!!
That book became my bible. I used the library's one so much. I
finally just went and bought one! I started to live out of it
everyday, picking one new thing to try and adding others to my daily
eating. I was feeling the change but more important I was taking
control. Taking control over my illness and my nutrition. I slowly
start to convert my ex-husband who if he wanted dinner had to to have
a raw meal. With that attitude I had to make sure his taste buds
were satisfied every time. I loved that challenge and it gave me a
opportunity to be creative in my kitchen. I had a strategy which was
two -fold. Since it was hard enough to cook two meals a night and at
times three with Austin meals as well, if I could get him to eat at
least one meal and then convert him to a health way of eating as
well it would make my life so much easier. He did and I was on a
roll. I was making cheeses from nuts. My own mayo, ketchup and
sauces. I was in heaven, I could eat again and I had the pleasure of
sharing it with my friend. I would wake up feeling so good life was
getting better and it did! So good that I was hiking and out so much
I decided to try playing sports. I got on a co-ed softball my ex
-husband work had put together, I was so excited to finally be doing
so well I could hike in the morning and have a practice game on the
same night. I was flying on a cloud. Unfortunately that was shorted
lived. At our first practice game I tore my calf muscle and was on
crutches so my ex-husband was bringing home taco bell. I had lived
the raw life for over three months and in that short time I had seen
such a turn around but there I was laid up now for three months and
watching everything I worked so hard to achieve go down the drain.
When I recovered it wasn’t the same. I kept some of the dish and
ideas but the enthusiasm was gone. I knew unless my whole house hold
eat like me I would have this battle all my life. So I comprised. I
cut out the big allergens and decided I would just live with the
small ones. What a fatal mistake that turned out to be. Over time I
would pay the ultimate cost of my denial and depression. More
viruses and an added complication. In the following years I had
two encephalitis attacks and the EBV grew into a body of cancer
cells. My experience was not a total loss. I see my life as a
lesson in acceptance, faith and hope to say the least up until this
point but now I am starting to feel the call of the lessons of Bliss,
Joy and Love...
Which
leads me back to today. I have been at this moment in my life before
but I had forgotten how good it feels to be fully alive. To be
reaching for my full potential and feeling the changes in all areas
of my life. How funny that must seem how just adding one smoothie,
made at home, with love can start a change that feels like it could
heal the world..
This
is how I think I was meant to live, hell how all of us are meant to
live. Find your passion, love your life, expand your mind and feed
your body the gifts of Earth our Mother. There was no better feeling
to wake up this morning knowing that yesterday I expanded 6 peoples
minds and many more on the internet by just expanding mine. Trying
something new and feeding our body not just food but nutrients that
heal not destroy.
I
have learned a lot on my journey of food and health and I still fall
victim to my own denial and the ignorance of other. Like Dr. Norman
Walker said “We can not live other people's life for them, nor can
anyone else live ours for us”. So it is time to take another leap
forward in my health and well being. Time maybe to see what my body
at it's optimal heath can do! Lord knows we have been through a lot
together and it hasn’t let me down yet. Maybe at 50 I will be doing
that Yoga Girl hand stand and maybe next even a one handed one. Who
would of thought the road back to self would be lead by a smoothie.
We all have to start somewhere.
I
missed feeling this good and I missed that feeling of control I had
so easily again gave away.
Never
again will I let bliss slip out of my hands because of anything less
then to reach towards Nirvana... <3
