So this morning I decide to do some computer journal style writing to get my creative juices flowing again after many starts and stops only to have the computer shut down before I saved what I had written. This I must say was more then frustrating but an example of the distractions that keep me on the hamster wheel I seem to keep finding myself.
As I had written earlier that I had heard it said that why people seem to have problems starting new projects are that they look at it like a domino effect. That you can not do one thing until you do an other. I have been telling myself that and even using that term. So needless to say it hit home.
Even in starting up my blog again I had many road blocks mentally to open expression and sharing my thoughts again.
In taking a minute to really think about where I have used that term in my life I only have to look no farther then this blog.
First my writing skills and the time it takes me to write, read and post has tripled since I first was writing a online journal in early 2000 and before two viral attacks. So I would tell myself I will write when I am better. Then my ex took me to court over custody of my son and I had to guard my words and thoughts carefully so they wouldn't be used against me and the last excuse was that my computer is not a perfect fit for what I want to do. I am sure the list can go on. Those are just a few excuses and some are even legit that I give myself.
My time on my mat since my foot and wrist surgeries has been limited and not daily and I am still unpacking my house after a year because I secretly are still waiting for those who said they would help. I have decided no more. The dominoes must start falling, even if its just one by one.
Winter is coming again and it wont be long before another year will have passed and still things will sit undone unless I start to knock down those dominoes, excuses and all. It has been a great summer and now it's time for me to get back to the job of living my passions and joys and not waiting for the perfect day, perfect time or someone else to come help me.
I am at the age now where my friends are starting to pass away, some before they have had a chance to live and others are living while they are dying...
In taking a minute to really think about where I have used that term in my life I only have to look no farther then this blog.
First my writing skills and the time it takes me to write, read and post has tripled since I first was writing a online journal in early 2000 and before two viral attacks. So I would tell myself I will write when I am better. Then my ex took me to court over custody of my son and I had to guard my words and thoughts carefully so they wouldn't be used against me and the last excuse was that my computer is not a perfect fit for what I want to do. I am sure the list can go on. Those are just a few excuses and some are even legit that I give myself.
My time on my mat since my foot and wrist surgeries has been limited and not daily and I am still unpacking my house after a year because I secretly are still waiting for those who said they would help. I have decided no more. The dominoes must start falling, even if its just one by one.
Winter is coming again and it wont be long before another year will have passed and still things will sit undone unless I start to knock down those dominoes, excuses and all. It has been a great summer and now it's time for me to get back to the job of living my passions and joys and not waiting for the perfect day, perfect time or someone else to come help me.
I am at the age now where my friends are starting to pass away, some before they have had a chance to live and others are living while they are dying...
I do not know how much longer I have to share my perceptions and insights about this wonderful journey I call my life but damn it I am going to share it with the world and if it makes one person think and another not feel so alone then my words have been worth it. Not only that but because it is my passion, my desire and my creative gift and it would be a shame to not share what talents have been gifted and earned by me..
This mornings computer set back almost got in the way of this post but no more, I am taking down those dominoes one at a time.
There is never a time better than the present to start to live those things I cherish most or haven't been giving enough time in my life.
Never to late to watch the dominoes fall and when they do it sure is a beautiful thing to watch and an amazing task to complete..
One I plan on not missing out on anymore.
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